How To Approach Girls

Here’s a classic scenario that’s been happening all over the world since the beginning of time (well, not really). You notice a beautiful girl and she becomes aware of your glances. In the span of a few seconds you decide to do nothing and then just go about your business. This is a very common daily experience that a lot of guys won’t admit to.

Sometimes a brave soul will just go for it and approach her anyway. When he reaches her with a blanked out mind and a racing pulse, he does or says something causing an awkward moment for both him and the girl. Later that day he tries his best to suppress all memories of his humiliation.

There are a million and two variations to this but they all amount to missed opportunities. Guys with this problem all recognize that they’re having difficulties with approaching women. What they fail to do is resolve to fix their problem in a deliberate and methodical way.

This means gaining experience gradually by taking small baby steps. What I mean is that you need to get proficient at spontaneous socializing with strangers. You should make a goal of talking to as many strangers as you can during the course of your day. Your interactions won’t necessarily be full blown discussions. If you tried to force lengthy conversation on people they’ll probably get annoyed and back away.

Your interactions have to come across as a natural reaction on your part to something about the person or the situation. When you’re taking these baby steps, the goal is not picking up every female you come across. You’re just trying to initiate some talk which will naturally run its course, then you’ll move on.

I personally prefer to use humor whenever I can to loosen things up. There’s no quicker way to set a girl at ease than to make her laugh. I’ve found at least for me, that it’s far easier to make a girl laugh than a guy.

That’s because the girl is simultaneously hearing something funny and experiencing the thrill of attention from the opposite sex. It’s sort of a quick one-two punch that many women will automatically react to with laughter.

The humor doesn’t have to be all that funny. It only needs to be spontaneous and appropriate to the situation. The other day I got three women at a Star Bucks to laugh at this phrase: “eeny, meenie, minie, moe”. There’s nothing gut wrenching about the phrase itself. But it seemed the natural thing to say when three female employees were ready to take my order and it wasn’t clear who I should give my order to. An hour later at a different location, I caused a girl to burst into laughter when I said the word “five”. You had to be there to understand.

The formula for this type of humor is spontaneity, appropriateness, and being playful. There’s many formulas for humor, but that’s the one that works for me. You’ll want to avoid humor that make you seem like a clown, because you want to come across as an interesting and exciting male.

The easiest way to begin your baby steps is to start with women (you’ve not met before) that you’re expected to interact with anyway. So you’ll be targeting every bank teller, cashier, waitress, grocery bagger, librarian, and so on. You will want to get them to talk about something that’s not required by their job. So asking a waitress what the day’s special is doesn’t count as a social interaction. And remember that humor is a great ice breaker.

When this becomes second nature, then it’s time do your little interactions with women that you’re not expected to interact with. As you do this, start asking open ended questions that aren’t prying, to get her to open up more. With consistent repetition of this every day, you’ll reach the point where approaching and getting to know a woman that you take a fancy to won’t be that big of a deal. If she rejects you, it’s not because of awkwardness on your part. It’ll be because of circumstances that have to do with her. And besides, if you get rejected, so what? Who cares?